By: Cristina Conti, Matchmaker
Rejection is our greatest light in the dark and murky waters of dating. Although when most hear this word, we recoil, I challenge you to embrace it. We typically envision waiting at a restaurant for a date who is MIA after we had spent hours preparing. It could also mean when people stop communicating with us, or have yet to start for that matter, yet we have already developed feelings for them. The most pertinent definition of rejection in the Merriam Webster Dictionary reads, “to rebuff or withhold love from.” It means that we show love, even in a small way, and that love hits a brick wall. We feel personally offended after opening up, but it may be less personal than we think.
For instance in the French film Amélie (2001), the title character goes out of her way to show love to others. Among her good deeds, she gives a man his childhood treasure that she finds in her apartment and helps a blind man see with his heart in the bustling streets of Montmartre. When it comes to her own love life, however, she feels terrified. Paralyzed with fear, she intentionally misses a meeting with her suitor. The man must have felt foolish, as we all do after a comparable situation. We may start to wonder if the fault lies within us or our actions. While introspection helps us live mindfully and sensitively, too much second guessing can cause undue anxiety. After you have considered the situation and the appropriateness of your actions, you can let go. You have tried your best.
Think of your love as a bouncy ball that you played with as a child. When it hits a wall, it bounces straight back to you. Your love is that ball, if it is unrequited, it comes right back into your arms. Even better, you gained more skill than the last time that you bounced it.The most successful people risk their pride and ego on a daily basis. They courageously face their fears and build strength as a result. As Amélie reveals, we may encounter those who have built up so many walls that they shut down. You, on the other hand, have the peace that you responded openly, graciously, and lovingly. You may feel like a fool at that moment, but congratulations, you are one bounce closer to finding true love.
Your matchmaking bestie,
“. . . by so making a fool of herself she gains mastery of the world.”Saint Catherine of Siena, The Dialogue (1387)